Why do I suffer from separation anxiety?
Whether the breakup is chosen or suffered, the first moments following the heavy announcement can be very difficult to live with: anxiety from separation causes significant stress to the mind and body.
Each person tries his or her best with the psychological resources at their disposal. Generally, we separate as we loveD each other.
Passionately, in noise and fury, or calmly. In the ideal, while trying to make the least possible evil. To the other and to oneself.
So, if there is no miracle solution to overcome anxiety from separation, the important thing is not to deny the difficulty of this situation. The breakup hurts, it is undeniable. But it can be overcome if you recognize your suffering and don’t let yourself get trapped in it.
In this purpose, we will explore concrete ways to be explored to overcome this stressful situation.
The Anxiety Phases After The Separation
Once the separation has been announced, emotions and feelings mingle and follow one another over time and through the stages of the separation. There are phases to go through shock, feelings of unreality, denial, and then anger, which is undoubtedly the beginning of distancing.
Some people go through them in order, others not.
Here again, the main thing is not to impose unbearable constraints on oneself. There is no need to force yourself to move on at all costs or to repress feelings that still exist for the other person because your friends or family feel that it is time to move on.
This imperative is absurd because you should pretend that you are not unhappy with heartbreak. Breaking up hurts. It is part of love.
In any case, anxiety from separation can become a danger if it turns into depression. By the way, if you think you are in this case following a painful breakup, we have dedicated an article on how to differentiate anxiety from depression right here.
Fight Anxiety from Separation By Facing The Weight Of Guilt
Whether you are the cause of the breakup, or whether you are left, guilt affects you in the same way and puts a lot of stress on your shoulders. There is the guilt of having left the other person, and the guilt of not having been able to keep him/her.
Because even when we don’t love each other anymore, life together is a story that cannot be erased with a magic wand.
This link persists between the two people sometimes long after the separation. But even if the love has disappeared for a long time, it is the impression of breaking this link that can make us feel guilty, we imagine we are the only one responsible for something that in reality has a much more complex explanation.
The crisis that leads a couple to separate is always the symptom of the dysfunction that was built up by both.
Even if the breakup seems to burst like a bolt from the blue, very often one of them claims to have multiplied the warning signals in vain while the other one says he didn’t see it coming. The two members of the couple, without realizing it, had not been speaking the same language for a long time, did not understand each other anymore, and did not get along.
Fight Anxiety from Separation By Overcoming the feeling of failure
Another source of anxiety from separation: a breakup is often perceived as a failure because it is the failure of hope, of a major emotional investment.
Sometimes it is even our entire life path that we question. To overcome this feeling, we would like to achieve good separation. If we have not succeeded in our relationship, we would like to succeed at least in our separation.
This leads to paradoxical imperatives, where separating well would end up meaning in a way that we have been a good couple.
But how do define a good break-up? A separation without strong emotions? Where would both parties leave each other as good friends despite everything?
A good break-up is a bit like resilience, an interesting concept if it does not serve as a normative ready-to-think.
There are people who have difficulty being resilient. Just as there are people who have difficulty succeeding in their separation. It is human to suffer from a breakup, the one we under go as well as the one we decide, human to be unhappy about it.
And it is not necessary to blame yourself if you do not manage to overcome this feeling of failure right away.
Anxiety Minds Wants To Help You Getting Better
Who has not experienced the side effects of a painful separation… The long nights without real sleep that result can alter our moods and our health daily.
This is a problem that should not be taken lightly, and we know it only too well! That’s why we strongly advise you to take care of your sleep with the entirely organic formula of Harmonium Sleep Support.
The final thoughts on anxiety from separation…
Overcoming a break-up is a difficult adventure, this impression of losing a part of oneself that one had deposited in the other can make one suffer. But by accepting your feelings, by going at your own pace without imposing any imperatives or need to follow a standard of “good” divorce.
The day will come when you thought it was impossible, that strange moment when you realize with a relief mixed with nostalgia that it is over, that the suffering is gone.
If our love stories end badly, it’s because we keep repeating the same scenario from our childhood. Identifying this unconscious “script” can help us to change our role and finally commit to a different adventure.